Living with Chronic Pain

Pain is the body’s natural response to an injury. Everyone knows that if you smash your finger in a car door that you are going to experience intense pain. Fortunately the pain will eventually stop and the wound will heal. Those who suffer from chronic pain are unable to gain permanent relief from their pain. So imagine smashing your finger in the car door every day and you can get a glimpse into the life of a person suffering from chronic pain.

When chronic pain persists, the pain becomes only part of the misery. Depression, anxiety and anger all become components of chronic pain. The pain takes control of your life and starts affecting every part of it. In my opinion, this is where the anger sets in. You get angry with yourself first. You just want to be normal again and it’s easy to get angry at your body for feeling the way it does. It may sound crazy to someone who doesn’t know how chronic pain feels, but you begin to blame yourself for not doing the things you use to do and for losing yourself in the pain. Then the anger tends to project onto the doctors for not being able to tell you why you have chronic pain or not even believing that something is wrong with you. You know you’re hurting and that your life is hell, but if they can’t see it, most doctors don’t believe it. Dealing with friends and family usually brings about more anger. If they don’t understand or are not even willing to try to understand it makes you angry…very angry. How can you make someone else understand what you’re going through, when you don’t even understand it and it’s like a big circle, you become angry at yourself again. It’s never-ending.

The depression and anxiety go hand in hand in my world. You get to the point where you just want to give up. Nothing stops the pain, you feel like nobody believes you and you can’t do everything you use to be able to do. The bad thing with depression is that it actually causes more pain, so you are stuck in this vicious circle that is destroying your life. What are you suppose to do if even the doctors can’t help you? The anxiety causes you to become a recluse and the little outings with friends and family seem more and more like torture than fun. When you’re by yourself you don’t have to worry about trying to make someone understand that you are really in pain. You don’t have to listen to anyone’s criticism. This isn’t a good place to be. It’s lonely, but it’s the only way you can deal with it.

Pain, depression, anxiety and anger are a dangerous combination, but it’s the reality of chronic pain. If you suffer from chronic pain don’t stop searching for answers. You can’t give up on your life and you can’t let the pain win. If one doctor won’t listen keep searching until you find one that will.