You’re in your home of many years, walking down the hall to a bedroom,
but before your reach your destination you realize that you don’t
remember where you are or where you’re going. You suddenly lose your
feelings of safety and security, and your life no longer feels like your
own. You become a victim of an unknown force. What is it? It is the
first terrifying sign of Alzheimer’s disease. This disease has become a
part of my grandmother’s life and coping through the different stages
has been a difficult situation. Although it is an endless battle, there
is help available.
Alois Alzheimer, a German neurologist, first
described Alzheimer’s disease or A.D. in 1906. A.D. is the most common
cause of the progressive loss of intellectual abilities, know as
dementia.
It is a devastating and incurable disease that chiefly affects the
elderly. It is already a major public health problem and it will become
an even greater problem as the number and proportion of the elderly
population increases.
My grandmother was diagnosed with A.D. in
1993. Prior to her diagnosis, we noticed that her memory was
deteriorating quite rapidly. She would forget names of family
member,
the proper names for things, such as the mail box, which she would call
the post office, and she would forget her normal every day tasks.
“I
wish someone would help me with my memory,” my grandmother said when
she became frustrated one day. It was heart breaking because there was
nothing we could do to help her. Finally when her memory became really
bad and she started having terrible mood swings we decided to take her
to the doctor. The diagnosis wasn’t a total shock because in the back
of our minds we expected it, but it was still a pretty hard blow to all
of us. Now it was time to prepare for a very long battle.
As my
grandmother entered the moderate stage, the battle had truly begun. Her
mental state worsened, and it was clear that A.D. was taking over her
life. It was eerie how the disease progressed and how it changed this
loveable and caring wife, mother, grandmother and friend into a
confused, hateful and temperamental woman.
This brave woman
became terrified of everything. Holiday socials with the family could
no longer be held at her house because large numbers of people set her
off into a frenzy. By this time she had forgotten who some of our
family members were, such as the ones she only saw a few times a month.
It was a hard situation because we knew that someday when would forget
us all.
Besides the deterioration of her memory, confusion was
the most noticeable symptom, during this stage. One day as I was
sitting with my grandmother in her home she began saying, “When are we
going home? I want to go home.” I tried to tell her that she was home,
but she looked at me angrily and said, “This isn’t my home.”
With
the confusion, came the inability to make decisions of any kind, and
handling the finances were out of the question. She simply became a
child allover
again, and it was sad because you could see the fear and uncertainty in the eyes of someone who used to be so strong and brave.
Although
the pain and the hurt ruled our lives, we knew that we couldn’t give up
so we continued to put our faith in God and we prepared ourselves, as
she entered into the advanced stage.
A few years had passed, and
she was now showing signs of the advanced stage. Mental disabilities
were obvious. By this time we had put my grandmother in a
nursing home because she needed more care than we could provide.
Then
the day came that we prayed would never come. She forgot who everyone
was, even my grandfather. Now and then she would remember, but for the
most part she only knew that we were family.
What scared me the
most was when I noticed she had gone back to what seemed to be her early
childhood. She acted like a defenseless five-year-old. My mom was
talking to her and she said, “I want my mommy. I want to be with the
kids.
Physical changes began to take place with my grandmother.
She, at times was unable to control her bodily functions and she was
sleepy all the time.
All we could do was watch her fade away into
the oblivion of this disease. We couldn’t help her mentally and there
was only so much we could do physically.
My grandmother had
remained in the advanced stage for quite some time when she leaped right
into the Latter Stage seemingly right before our eyes in 2003. Severe
cognitive decline is the hallmark of the latter stage. My grandmother’s
sense of confidence and dignity were lost. Depression over took her
and communication grew impossible. She had trouble breathing and was
put on oxygen. Soon after, she stopped eating and a feeding tube was
put in. Then one night she drifted off to an endless slumber.
Alzheimer’s
disease is devastating for everyone involved but you don’t have to face
it alone. There are support groups, financial help, and it’s amazing
how far a simple hug can go when your nerves have reached the end. For
more information about this disease contact the Alzheimer’s association
in your area or go to your local library. By doing this you will find
that you are not alone in the endless battle.